The Language of Your Body: Interoception as a Powerful Pathway to Self-Discovery

Welcome to a journey of self-discovery and empowerment through the lens of interoception. Interoception, your innate ability to sense and interpret internal bodily signals, holds the key to understanding your physical needs, emotional states, and overall well-being. In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore the intricacies of interoception and its profound impact on stress, anxiety, motivation, and burnout.

Understanding Interoception:

At its core, interoception enables you to tune into your body's physical needs and sensations, from the subtlest cues to more pronounced signals. It's your internal compass, guiding you through life's ups and downs by alerting you to hunger, thirst, fatigue, and emotional states. This heightened awareness is closely linked to self-awareness and emotional regulation, allowing you to answer essential questions about your current state of being and whether you feel safe, connected, or in distress.

However, various factors can diminish our interoceptive awareness, including chronic stress, disordered eating habits, poor sleep, trauma, and sedentary lifestyles. The relentless demands of modern life, coupled with constant distractions, further compound this disconnect from our bodies, making it challenging to heed the signals they send.

Cultivating Interoception:

The good news is that you can improve your interoceptive awareness through awareness and mindfulness practices. By engaging in activities like yoga, body scans, breathwork, and sensory exploration, you can enhance the function of your insular cortex and create clearer mental maps of your bodily sensations. These practices lay the groundwork for better emotional regulation, stress management, and overall well-being.

To kickstart your journey toward enhanced interoception, start by paying attention to basic bodily cues and responding to them mindfully. Next time you feel the urge to go to the bathroom or notice hunger pangs, pause and honor those signals without delay. This simple act of listening to your body sets the stage for deeper introspection and self-care.

Practical Tips for Cultivating Interoception:

1. Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness activities like body scans, deep breathing, and meditation to sharpen your awareness of bodily sensations and emotional states.

2. Movement and Sensory Exploration: Explore yoga, exercise, and sensory activities to deepen your connection to your body and heighten your sensory awareness.

3. Journaling and Reflection: Keep a journal to track your daily experiences, emotions, and physical sensations. Reflecting on these entries can help you identify patterns and gain insight into your interoceptive awareness.

4. Mindful Eating: Practice mindful eating by savoring each bite and tuning into your body's hunger and fullness cues. This practice fosters a deeper appreciation for food and promotes healthier eating habits.

5. Self-Compassion: Be kind and patient with yourself as you embark on this journey of self-discovery. Cultivate self-compassion and embrace the process of learning to tune into your body's signals with curiosity and openness.

The Importance of Interoception in Stress, Anxiety, Motivation, and Burnout:

Interoception plays a pivotal role in navigating stress, anxiety, motivation, and burnout. By honing your ability to tune into your body's signals, you can:

• Manage Stress: Recognize early signs of stress and implement effective coping strategies to mitigate its impact on your well-being.

• Regulate Emotions: Understand and regulate your emotions more effectively by tuning into subtle bodily sensations associated with different emotional states.

• Sustain Motivation: Respond to physiological needs like hunger and fatigue to maintain optimal levels of energy and motivation.

• Prevent Burnout: Avoid chronic stress and burnout by proactively addressing your body's signals and prioritizing self-care and resilience-building practices.

I wanted to share a few personal stories from my own life that highlight how much this skill has allowed me to manage my stress more effectively. I still get triggered and stressors still come, but with conscious practice of tuning into what my body is signaling in the moment, I have so much more confidence in my ability to recognize the early cues of rising stress/frustration, and then use the tools I’ve learned to “stop the spiral” and help me return to a more grounded, regulated state.

**Work Meeting:

**Scenario: Picture this: I'm in a meeting, and someone drops a less-than-flattering comment about my project. Cue the stress response – my heart's racing, my jaw's tightening... you know the drill. But instead of letting it spiral out of control, I take a moment to tune into my body. I notice those physical signs of stress, and I decide to take a deep breath, focusing on the sensation as it fills my lungs and then releases. It's amazing how quickly I start to feel more centered and in control. That's the magic of interoception – it helps me regulate my stress response and tackle the situation with confidence.

**Parenting Stress:

**Scenario: After a crazy day at work, I walk through the door to find my kids in full meltdown mode over cleaning up their toys. Talk about stress overload! But instead of getting swept up in the chaos, I take a step back and check in with myself. I notice the tension building in my shoulders and the knot forming in my stomach. So, I decide to do a quick body scan, starting from my head and working my way down. With each breath, I feel the tension melting away, and suddenly I'm able to approach the situation with a newfound sense of calm and patience.

Wrapping it Up:

Interoception is not just another sense; it's your gateway to self-awareness, emotional regulation, and holistic well-being. By cultivating your interoceptive awareness, you can tap into your body's innate wisdom and harness its power to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.

So, embrace the journey of self-discovery, and let your interoceptive superpower guide you toward a life filled with balance, vitality, and authenticity. Remember, your body is constantly speaking to you— it's time to tune in and listen to what it's trying to communicate to you!

Unlocking Emotional Wellness: A Guide for Busy Working Moms

Emotional wellness is a cornerstone of a fulfilling and balanced life. It's about being aware of our emotions, managing them effectively, and maintaining resilience in the face of all of life's challenges.

It’s something that’s not taught to most of us as kids or as adults. We may believe we are doing “good enough” in this area, but when we really peel it back, most of us are not really thriving when it comes to our own emotional landscape, or how aware we are of our emotions and how they drive our actions and result.

Perhaps the most glaring is that it’s wildly uncommon for us to know and use healthy methods of processing and dealing with our uncomfortable emotions (like guilt, shame, anger, frustration, resentment, anxiety, etc).

Distracting ourselves on our phones, sipping wine while binge watching a show, or organizing every drawer may be some ways we’ve developed to relieve or distract ourselves from having to feel those uncomfortable things, but our emotions are stored in our bodies, and they will come up and out, in one way or another.

Today, let’s explore the science behind emotional well-being, signs of nervous system dysregulation versus regulation, and practical tips for busy working moms to prioritize their emotional well-being.

Understanding Emotional Wellness: At its core, emotional wellness involves recognizing and expressing emotions authentically, coping with stress in healthy ways, and nurturing positive relationships. The mind-body connection/superhighway (“the nervous system” or autonomic nervous system) plays a crucial role in emotional wellness, with our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations deeply intertwined.

Signs of Nervous System Dysregulation: Persistent stress, difficulty concentrating, irritability, disrupted sleep patterns, and physical symptoms like muscle tension and headaches are signs of nervous system dysregulation.

Signs of Nervous System Regulation: Inner calm, emotional flexibility, resilience, emotional intelligence, improved decision-making skills, and stronger relationships indicate a regulated nervous system.

Practical Tips for Busy Working Moms:

1. Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or body scanning into your daily routine to anchor yourself in the present moment and cultivate calm.

2. Prioritize Nurturing Yourself: Carve out small pockets of time to care for yourself during your week — plan ahead and schedule it in your calendar - taking a walk over lunch, grabbing tea with a friend to catch up (even if you only have 20 minutes), indulging in a creative hobby for 30 minutes - to replenish your emotional reserves.

3. Seek Social Support: Build a support network of friends, family, or fellow moms who understand and validate your experiences to provide emotional support and perspective as you navigate and grow together, holding each other accountable to prioritizing yourselves.

4. Engage in Joyful Activities: Spend quality time with loved ones, pursue creative interests, or volunteer for a cause you care about on at least a monthly basis to nourish your soul and enhance your sense of overall purpose and contribution in life.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Work to cultivate a more non-judgmental attitude towards yourself, recognizing that it's okay to have it all together and get everything done, and allowing yourself grace during difficult moments.

In today's fast-paced world, learning to tune into and regulate our emotions can have a profound impact on our lives, relationships, and overall well-being.

Here are some real-life stories of clients who have experienced profound transformation through the practice of emotional regulation.

Chronic Conflict with Spouse

Christina, a hospitalist and mother of 2 young children, struggled with frustration in her relationship with her spouse, causing stress in the home that carried over into work and parenting. Through learning and practicing emotional regulation techniques, Christina was able to identify and communicate her needs with clarity and empathy to her spouse, as well as learning how she could figure out ways to give herself what she was craving. This deepened her connection to herself, as well as her partner, and brought more joy and harmony into their home.

Setting Boundaries with Your Kids

Discover Emily's story, a busy working mom who often felt overwhelmed and exhausted by the demands of parenting 3 children under the age of 10 who fought all the time and always competed for her attention. She would get frustrated and yell at them especially when they were fighting or being demanding, and felt like she didn’t have the calm control she wanted as a mom. By practicing emotional regulation techniques such as mindfulness and self-compassion, Emily learned how to set clear and loving boundaries with her children without resorting to yelling or aggression. She was able to transform her parenting style, gain confidence, and enjoy more respectful interactions with and between her kids.

Navigating Work Satisfaction

Jessica, a trauma surgeon with a teenager, felt drained and unfulfilled with her job. She was resentful of the long hours and calls that didn’t seem to lessen over time, and felt like everyone was taking advantage of her as a people pleaser and woman in a male-dominated field. Through self-reflection, introspection, and aligning her passions and values, she was able to identify parts of her work that filled her up vs those that drained her, set boundaries to protect her well-being at work, and prioritize the tasks at work that made her feel more aligned and fulfilled. She went from being ready to leave medicine altogether to reducing to 0.8 FTE OR/clinic time, focus on medical education which lit her up, and find her groove and feel more energized.

These real-life stories highlight the transformative power of emotional regulation in our lives.

By tuning into and regulating our emotions, we can navigate challenges with greater ease and resilience, foster healthier relationships, and cultivate a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in our daily lives.

Quick Win for Today: Take a few moments to pause, close your eyes, and tune into your breath. Notice the sensations of each inhale and exhale, allowing yourself to let go of any tension or stress. Even just a few minutes of mindful breathing can help reset your nervous system and promote calm amidst the busyness of daily life.

Wrapping it Up: By prioritizing emotional wellness, busy working moms empower themselves to show up as their best selves in every aspect of life, fostering deeper connections, greater resilience, and a more fulfilling sense of purpose. Start today by implementing these practical tips and notice the positive impact on your well-being and overall quality of life.

If you are ready to take a step in the direction of greater emotional awareness and getting more clear on how you want to feel more of the time, grab my free guide to getting started here:

https://sarahwittry.myflodesk.com/desiredfeelings

Until next week, sending hope & healing your way,

Sarah

Nurturing Connection: Fostering Our Childrens' Emotional Intelligence and Resilience

As high-achieving, working moms, one of our greatest desires is to raise emotionally intelligent and resilient children who thrive in today's complex world. In our pursuit of this noble goal, we often find ourselves navigating the challenging balance between nurturing caring connection and resisting the temptation to exert too much control over our children's lives.

Let's explore the transformative power of connection, and I'll provide some practical strategies for fostering the development of emotional intelligence and resilience in our children.

The Heart of Motherhood: Connection vs. Control

At the heart of conscious motherhood lies the dynamic interplay between connection and control. While it's entirely natural for us to want to protect and guide our children, true nurturing occurs when we prioritize building deep, authentic connections rooted in empathy, understanding, and mutual respect. Instead of seeking to have some sense of control every aspect of our children's lives, we can try to embrace the principles of conscious parenting and cultivate caring connections that nourish their souls and ours.

Lessons from Parenting Experts: Insights on Connection and Care

Drawing inspiration from parenting experts like Dr. Becky Kennedy and Adam Grant, here are some highly valuable insights into the art of nurturing connection and fostering emotional intelligence in our children:

1. Parenting as a Coach: Viewing the parenting role as that of a coach enables us to focus on helping our children develop essential skills, particularly emotional regulation. Most of us were not taught emotional awareness or regulation tools in our upbringing and may have some hesitancy as to how to help our children develop these skills. Like a coach guiding a player through tough times in sports, we can learn to support our children in understanding their own complex emotions and developing healthy coping mechanisms to allow, process, and move through these emotions.

2. Emotional Regulation Skills: Teaching our children how to manage their emotions effectively is paramount to their overall well-being. By addressing the root cause of behavior (based on their thinking and feelings) and equipping them with tools to handle challenging situations, we empower them to navigate life's ups and downs with resilience and grace.

3. Feedback and Connection: Fostering open communication and mutual respect strengthens the parent-child relationship and promotes emotional intelligence. By actively listening to our children's needs and concerns and seeking feedback on our parenting practices, we demonstrate our commitment to nurturing a supportive and trusting bond.

4. Setting Boundaries with Empathy: Establishing clear and consistent boundaries with empathy and understanding promotes a sense of security and autonomy in our children. Through collaborative discussions and regular family "meetings", we empower them over time to take ownership of their actions, while still honoring their individuality and perspectives.

5. Defining Success: Understanding our children's unique aspirations and supporting their journey towards success requires us to engage in meaningful conversations and offer guidance and support along the way. By aligning our parenting approach with their goals and values, we create a nurturing environment where they can thrive and flourish.

Practical Strategies for Cultivating Connection

As high-achieving working moms, we face unique challenges in balancing our professional pursuits with our responsibilities as mothers. Here are some practical strategies for embracing connection and nurturing emotional intelligence in our children:

• Prioritize Quality Time: Set aside dedicated time each day to connect with your child, engaging in activities that foster open communication and shared experiences. This can be just a few minutes, as long as you're not distracted by work, your phone, or other tasks. Show your child that they have your full attention.

• Validate Emotions: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions openly and without judgment (even the hard ones that you may find yourself internally rolling your eyes about), practicing active listening and validation. Talking to them about your own emotions and what you are doing to process them in real time can be extraordinarily helpful also.

• Set Boundaries with Empathy: Establish clear and consistent boundaries with empathy and understanding, considering your child's perspective and fostering mutual respect.

• Practice Mindful Parenting: Approach parenting with mindfulness and presence, staying attuned to your child's needs and emotions in each moment.

Conclusion: Nurturing Connection for Resilient Futures

As we journey through motherhood, please remember that the true essence of parenting lies not in exerting control over our children, but in nurturing deep, meaningful connections that nourish their souls and ours.

By embracing the principles of conscious motherhood and prioritizing caring connection, we lay the foundation for our children to become emotionally intelligent, resilient individuals who thrive in an ever-changing world.

Let us embark on this transformative journey together, embracing the power of connection to shape bright and resilient futures for our children.

XOXO,

Sarah

If you are curious about what it's like to intentionally cultivate feelings you desire to have more often, grab my guide for this process here: https://sarahwittry.myflodesk.com/desiredfeelings

I am a certified life coach and passionate about helping high-achieving working moms stop feeling exhausted and inadequate. I will teach you how to work with your mind and your body instead of against them, and make the changes you need to navigate your life and show up how you want to in all your important roles. I'd love to connect with you via a free consult call to learn more about you and what you're struggling with, and talk about how I could help you make sustainable changes and feel GOOD. Schedule free 15 minute consult here: https://calendly.com/sarahannewittry/connectioncall

Embracing Your Mortality: 10 Tools for Making the Absolute Most of Your Time

Very few people like to talk about their own mortality.

And society mostly allows us to pretend like we don’t have to contemplate it at all. With advancements in medical technology and screenings, people are living longer.

As a culture, we don’t bring up death and dying because it is viewed as inappropriate, too sad, or even bad luck to speak about.

The other thing that makes it very easy to avoid thinking about the fact of mortality for us is that modern living is ALWAYS BUSY, and we can easily fill all of our time with meetings, trips, tasks, and projects.

In fact, I’d argue that many people actively fill their calendars, extend their to-do lists, as a way to avoid having to contemplate the reality that life has an expiration date on it.

Even though we may be drained and overwhelmed, we’re avoiding the discomfort of considering our own death at some unknown (but certain) point in the future.

I recently re-read the book “4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman whish is a beautifully written book to rethink the concept of “time management” that is through the lens of acknowledging and accepting the finite nature of life and using that to frame and focus on what truly matters as you live your years out.

I wanted to share 10 takeaways from this book that I hope will make you stop and think, chew on, and serve as catalysts for you to clarify your true priorities and then honestly examine how your right-now life stacks up against what you know in your soul matters most to you, above all else.

1. Recognize Your Finitude

Life is finite, and each of us has approximately 4000 weeks to live. This awareness can serve as a powerful reminder to prioritize what truly matters in our lives.

Author David Kane gained a newfound appreciation for life's fragility after a nearby mass shooting.

His realization of the limited time we have underscores the importance of embracing our mortality and living each day with purpose.

2. Focus on Essentials

Identifying your core values and priorities is essential for effective time management.

Instead of spreading yourself thin trying to do it all, focus on what truly matters to you.

For instance, prioritize completing important projects that align with your values, like researching an article that resonates with your passion, over less significant tasks.

3. Embrace Constraints

Accepting limitations can lead to increased creativity and productivity.

Constraints force us to prioritize and focus on what's truly important.

Consider implementing predetermined time boundaries for your daily work or limiting the number of tasks on your to-do list to enhance focus and productivity.

4. Beware of Productivity Traps

Not all tasks contribute equally to our goals.

Avoid falling into the trap of busywork and focus on activities that bring real value and fulfillment.

Instead of striving for perfection in every task, prioritize progress over perfection to avoid paralysis and achieve meaningful results.

5. Embrace Imperfection

Perfectionism can be paralyzing and prevent us from taking action.

Instead of striving for perfection, celebrate small wins along the way.

Keep a "done" list to acknowledge your accomplishments and progress, no matter how small.

6. Cultivate Presence

Practice being fully engaged in the present moment to savor experiences and relationships.

Instead of constantly worrying about the future, focus on building meaningful connections and enjoying the present with loved ones.

Approach relationships with curiosity and presence, seeking to understand others without judgment.

7. Invest in Relationships

Meaningful connections with others are essential for happiness and fulfillment.

Allocate time for nurturing relationships and building community.

Whether it's spending quality time with loved ones or connecting with colleagues, prioritize meaningful interactions that bring joy and fulfillment.

8. Prioritize Rest and Leisure

Schedule time for relaxation, hobbies, and self-care to recharge and maintain balance.

Instead of constantly striving for productivity, allocate time for leisure activities that bring joy and relaxation.

Give yourself permission to take breaks and recharge, knowing that rest is essential for overall well-being.

9. Embrace Uncertainty

Life is inherently unpredictable, and plans may need to adapt.

Cultivate resilience and flexibility to navigate unexpected challenges and embrace the unknown. Instead of worrying about the future, focus on adapting to change and finding opportunities for growth and learning.

10. Live with Intention

Be intentional about how you spend your time, aligning your actions with your values and long-term goals.

By consciously choosing how to invest your time and energy, you can create a life that reflects your values and priorities.

Make deliberate choices that bring you closer to your goals and lead to a more meaningful and purposeful life.

Incorporating these ten tools into our lives can transform the way we approach time management.

We CAN make the most of the limited time we have on the planet, if we are intentional about it.

I encourage you to stop avoiding the truth of your finitude, make changes you need to prioritize what truly matters in your life, and live each day with intention and purpose.

Your 4000 weeks are precious—make them count.

Why Habit Change Feels Like an Uphill Battle

Embarking on the journey to transform our habits is a familiar path for many high-achieving working moms, armed with knowledge and determination. However, despite our efforts, lasting changes in our habits so often feels like a slog and like we’re pushing a boulder uphill , leaving us frustrated and overwhelmed by life's demands, giving up, and vowing to try again in a few weeks or months when we are “less busy.”

Consider those moments when we promise ourselves an early bedtime to prioritize rest and rejuvenation, only to find ourselves engrossed in a good book or scrolling Instagram, vowing revenge on bedtime the next night. Or perhaps it's the meticulously planned meals that get derailed by unexpected work emergencies or family obligations, leaving us stress-eating fast food in our cars.

It’s critical to remind ourselves that we don’t have to go all or none when it comes to changing our habits. We don't always require monumental changes to yield significant results. Sometimes, it's the smallest tweaks, the subtle shifts in our daily routines, that make the biggest impact, particularly over time.

For the longest time, I wanted to increase my water intake and kept trying to remember to drink a full glass first thing in the morning. I would stick to it for a few days or a week, then forget or just be rushing too much and vowed to make it up later. But I wanted to make starting the day with hydration a habit. So, I started with just three sips—yes, three sips. And you know what? It worked. Those three sips gradually evolved into a habit of drinking some water every day right when I wake up (I put my glass of water on my nightstand as a visual reminder), and now it is as automatic to me as hitting snooze on my alarm. 😆

Habits don’t have to be just health and wellness-related or productivity hacks. We can also prioritize habits that increase the kindness we show toward ourselves, like decreasing negative self-talk, allowing ourselves the rest we need, and intuitively following our body’s wisdom as to what we need next. Habits are just things done repeatedly until they are done on autopilot with little conscious awareness - like the default. So why not get clear on the things we want to make habits to serve us better, and then create the tiniest possible version of that “ideal habit” and stack or grow over time?

Each morning, as I take that first sip of coffee, I have made it a habit (like a comforting ritual) to quickly jot down one thing that's kind to myself. It could be as simple as "you showed up again" or "you are worthy of endless love, rest, and joy."

So, what's the secret sauce to bridging the gap between us knowing what to do and actually doing it when it comes to our daily habits?

Let's dive into some key strategies:

- Embrace Imperfection: Allow yourself the grace to stumble; it's all part of the journey towards self-improvement.

- Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a dear friend facing similar challenges.

- Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Celebrate even the tiniest victories along the way; every step forward is a step closer to your goals.

- Harness the Power of Tiny Habits: Start SUPER small (ex: floss one tooth, put tennis shoes on daily), with manageable actions that you can easily integrate into your daily routine, and let momentum carry you forward.

- Optimize Your Environment: Set yourself up for success by shaping your surroundings to support your desired habits and minimize distractions.

- Get Clear on Your Deeper Why: Connect with your deeper motivations and values, as they will serve as the fuel to sustain your journey through the inevitable ups and downs.

- Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive community of like-minded individuals who can provide encouragement, accountability, and valuable insights. Join my private Facebook community for consistent support in your personal growth.

- Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate awareness and presence in the moment, without judgment or attachment to outcomes, as you navigate the challenges of habit change.

- Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that meaningful change takes time and effort, and be patient with yourself as you progress towards your goals.

- Celebrate Your Progress: Take time to acknowledge and celebrate how far you've come, no matter how small the steps may seem.

Understanding the emotional dimensions of habit change is essential for fostering resilience, self-compassion, and sustainable progress.

Our habits are deeply intertwined with our identity and sense of self, and challenging them can evoke feelings of vulnerability, fear, and uncertainty.

By recognizing and addressing these underlying emotional factors, we can cultivate a greater sense of empowerment and well-being on our journey towards lasting change.

Ready to take the next step in your habit change journey? Join a supportive community of like-minded individuals committed to personal and professional growth.

Seek guidance from mentors or coaches who can offer personalized support and accountability.

And above all, be gentle with yourself as you navigate the complexities of habit change, knowing that every small step forward is a victory worth celebrating.

Together, let's embrace small changes and tweaks in habits, accumulating and building on one another, to help you BECOME the next level version of your self.

If you’ve been struggling to make progress with a particular habit you want to start, change or ditch, I’d love to help troubleshoot it with you to get you unstuck - get on my calendar for a free 15 minute call! https://calendly.com/sarahannewittry/connectioncall

Listen in to a deeper dive on habit change on my podcast VIBRANT HUMANS this week: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5U9uc0eNZ1nsWjCbSwri01?si=I263vbRkSrC_YydkY_hdSQ

Subscribe to my email list: For weekly inspiration, content, tips & tools to be consistent in prioritizing your own well-being.

Listen in to a deeper dive on habit change on my podcast VIBRANT HUMANS this week: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5U9uc0eNZ1nsWjCbSwri01?si=I263vbRkSrC_YydkY_hdSQ

The Power of A Healthy Boundary in Your Relationships

In the intricacies and nuances of relationships, setting boundaries is often misunderstood.

It's NOT about building walls or always saying no, but rather about fostering healthier connections by establishing mutual respect and understanding. Unfortunately, many overlook the importance of boundaries, leading to frustration, resentment, and strained relationships.

Let's explore how embracing healthy boundaries can transform your relationships and enhance your overall well-being.

Identifying the Need for Boundaries:

Do you often feel overwhelmed, stressed, or burnt out? Are you struggling to say no to demands on your time and energy? These could be signs of boundary issues.

Boundaries are about asserting your needs and ensuring you're treated with the respect you deserve in all aspects of life.

They are NOT used to tell someone else what they can or cannot do.

They are for YOU - and they are essentially a plan for what you will and will not accept in regards to other people and situations. They are unique to you based on what matters most to you.

Example: If you can’t stand when your family member calls you in the middle of your workday and expects you to answer, this is an area of frustration.

What many people do in this situation - tell the person “hey I’m setting a boundary, and you can’t call me during the work day anymore because I’m really busy and it just doesn’t work.”

This is focused on the other person’s behavior — which you have zero control over. You can’t enforce a boundary when it’s for someone else.

A more effective boundary you can set in this situation: deciding this is important to you and that taking calls during the work day from family that are not urgent/emergent is disrupting your productivity.

You can talk to the person about this or not, depending on your relationship, preference, and what the situation is. The next time that person calls you at 1pm, you enforce your boundary by NOT ANSWERING, not texting, and not apologizing. If she asks you about it later, you tell her (or remind her if you talked about it already) why you’re not able to take calls/respond to texts during your work day.

Then you stick with it, friend. Over time, the other person will most likely come to honor your boundary. If you want, be clear with what time frame (or day) does work for calls/texts and let them know.

This way, your boundary is in place, you show up for yourself and maintain it (even if you feel bad — it’ll get better, I promise).

And if the person crosses it, you don’t have to have a ton of mental drama about it, you just stick with your boundary and if it’s continuously breached, you can choose to distance yourself further from the person or let them know you won’t be able to talk to them at all unless they are able to show you that they understand/respect your boundaries (and ensure them that you respect theirs as well!)

Understanding the Six Types of Boundaries:

Boundaries extend beyond physical space to include emotional, intellectual, sexual, material, and time boundaries. Recognizing and communicating these boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect.

Finding Balance in Boundaries:

Balancing boundaries is akin to a cell membrane, selectively allowing positive influences while blocking negativity. Porous boundaries leave us vulnerable to emotional enmeshment and codependency, while rigid boundaries lead to emotional isolation. Healthy boundaries lie somewhere in between, fostering autonomy and mutual respect.

Communication and Action:

Clear communication and consistent action are essential for setting and maintaining boundaries. Assertively expressing your needs without apology or excessive explanation, and backing them up with consistent action, reinforces the integrity of your boundaries.

Dealing with Boundary Violations:

Boundary violations require consequences to reinforce their importance. While minor infractions may be shrugged off, persistent violations necessitate assertive action, including distancing oneself from toxic relationships if necessary.

Self-Care and Boundaries:

Boundaries with oneself are just as vital as those with others. Self-boundaries prevent overextension and promote healthy self-care practices, ensuring you have the energy and resilience to nurture meaningful relationships.

Setting Boundaries with Family:

Establishing boundaries with family members, especially parents, is essential for personal growth and autonomy. Creating emotional and physical distance, along with asserting your independence, fosters healthier family dynamics.

Navigating Boundaries in the Workplace:

Setting boundaries at work is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and maximizing productivity. Learning to say no to excessive work demands, delegating tasks, and communicating limits with colleagues and superiors are essential skills for a fulfilling career.

Setting Romantic Boundaries:

Clear communication and mutual understanding of boundaries are foundational for romantic relationships. Discussing expectations early on and addressing conflicts maturely can prevent misunderstandings and nurture a strong, respectful partnership.

Conclusion:

Incorporating healthy boundaries into your relationships is a transformative journey toward greater self-respect, fulfillment, and meaningful connections.

By recognizing the importance of boundaries and taking proactive steps to assert them, you can cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships across all aspects of your life.

Remember, setting boundaries isn't about pushing others away—it's about creating space for deeper, more authentic connections.

Unveiling the Power of Manuals: A Guide for Physician-Moms to Navigate Relationships with Clarity and Confidence

In the whirlwind of our daily lives, we often find ourselves navigating through a myriad of expectations, both from ourselves and from others.

These expectations, often unconscious, shape the way we interact with the world around us.

They're what we call "manuals" – internal guidelines dictating how we believe others should behave. Let's dive deeper into this concept of manuals and how they impact our relationships, both at home and at work.

Understanding Manuals:

Picture this: you arrive home after a long day at work, hoping for a warm embrace from your spouse and a chance to unwind. But what happens when your expectations aren't met? When your spouse doesn't greet you with the enthusiasm you anticipated? That feeling of disappointment or frustration stems from our manuals.

Manuals are essentially the unwritten rules we have for how others should act, talk, and behave.

They're deeply ingrained beliefs that often go unnoticed until they clash with someone else's manuals.

For example, you might have a manual for your husband that he should initiate conversation about your day or take charge of certain household tasks. Or perhaps you have manuals for your kids, your boss, or even your parents – each outlining your expectations of their behavior.

The Power of Release:

But here's the kicker: when others fail to meet our expectations, we mistakenly attribute our negative emotions to their actions. We feel disrespected or invalidated, falsely concluding that they're the cause of our discomfort.

Releasing our manuals is the key to emotional freedom. It means letting go of the notion that others must behave a certain way for us to feel okay. Instead, we can maintain our values while dropping expectations of others. Acceptance is crucial here – acknowledging that everyone operates from their own manuals and allowing them to behave as they will without letting it affect our emotional state.

Navigating Conflict:

Conflicts often arise when our manuals clash with those of others. For instance, consider a common scenario with your spouse – perhaps disagreements over household chores or communication styles. By understanding each other's manuals and communicating openly, you can navigate these conflicts with greater clarity and empathy.

A Personal Journey:

Let me share a personal anecdote. My husband and I often found ourselves at odds over something seemingly trivial – parking in the garage. He installed light sensors to guide parking, while I preferred to go a little further for extra space. What seemed like a small disagreement actually stemmed from our differing manuals – his emphasizing respect for space and mine minimizing the issue. Recognizing this allowed us to address the underlying source of tension and find common ground, even a little humor and lightness in our seemingly small battle that had deeper roots.

Reflection and Action:

Now, I invite you to reflect on your own manuals. What expectations do you hold for the people in your life, and why? Take some time to journal your thoughts and feelings, exploring how your manuals influence your relationships.

Consider these questions:

• What manuals do you have for others in your life, and why?

• How do you feel when these expectations aren't met, and what thoughts drive those emotions?

• Can you identify any recurring patterns or conflicts arising from your manuals

Embrace the Journey:

As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, remember that awareness is the first step towards change. By recognizing and understanding your manuals, you can reclaim your emotional autonomy and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

I challenge you to notice and name three manuals you have for people in your life this week. Observe how this newfound awareness shifts your perspective and empowers you to navigate relationships with greater ease. If you found value in this discussion, I encourage you to share it with someone, and engage in conversations about your insights and discoveries.

Closing Thoughts:

Remember, you're worthy of living vibrantly – in both your personal and professional life.

Stay tuned for more empowering blog posts here, or listen in to my podcast, Vibrant Humans, where I release a new episode every Wednesday - I try to keep them between 15-20 minutes long, and I share super valuable insights I’ve gleaned, and the tools and strategies to help you thrive in every aspect of life.

Until next time, take good care of yourselves, and embrace the journey of self-discovery.

With warmth and empowerment,

Sarah

P.S. Exciting news! I'm opening up a few 1:1 coaching spots for new clients!! If you're a busy working physician & mom ready to unlock your full potential and live vibrantly, reach out to me! Send me a DM on LinkedIn, or book a connection call with me at https://calendly.com/sarahannewittry/1-1-coaching-session

Unveiling the Raw Realities of Mom Guilt: Strategies for Lessening the Burden

Mom guilt – it's a heavy burden that many of us carry, especially as high-achieving working women trying to balance careers and motherhood. The pressure to excel in both areas can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt, but it's time to unpack this common struggle and explore practical strategies for lessening its weight.

Understanding Mom Guilt:

Let's delve into the root causes of mom guilt that resonate with so many of us:

1. Societal Expectations: We're bombarded with images of the "perfect" mother who effortlessly juggles career and family, setting unrealistic standards that leave us feeling guilty when we fall short.

2. Time Constraints: Our demanding schedules leave us with limited time for our families, sparking guilt for not being able to spend as much time with our kids as we'd like.

3. High Standards: We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, expecting perfection both at work and at home, which only fuels our guilt when we inevitably fall short.

4. Comparison with Others: Whether it's comparing ourselves to stay-at-home moms or seemingly perfect colleagues, this comparison game leads to feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

5. Self-Identity and Fulfillment: Balancing our careers with motherhood can cause identity conflict, leaving us torn between pursuing professional ambitions and being fully present for our children.

But let's dispel some myths about mom guilt. It's not solely caused by neglecting our children, nor is it a sign of inadequate parenting. Mom guilt can affect women in all types of parenting roles, and it's not a permanent state that cannot be overcome.

Practical Strategies for Lessening Mom Guilt:

So, how do we lighten the load of mom guilt and reclaim our confidence and joy in both our careers and as mothers? Here are some actionable strategies:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Give yourself permission to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace imperfection. Remember, you're doing the best you can, and that's enough.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that perfection is unattainable, and that's okay. Set achievable goals and be kind to yourself when things don't go as planned.

3. Focus on Quality Over Quantity: Prioritize meaningful connections with your children during the time you do have together. It's the quality of interactions that matter most.

4. Delegate and Outsource: Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks at work and at home. Freeing up time and energy can alleviate guilt and stress.

5. Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment with your children, focusing on the present rather than worrying about work-related concerns. Mindfulness practices can help you stay grounded and focused.

Final Thoughts:

When mom guilt weighs heavy on your shoulders, remember these key points:

- Perfection is unattainable, especially when balancing a demanding career with family responsibilities.

- Treat yourself with kindness and understanding; you're doing the best you can in a challenging situation.

- Focus on the quality of your interactions with your children; it's the little moments that matter most.

By challenging common thought errors and embracing practical strategies, we can navigate mom guilt with greater resilience, compassion, and self-awareness, ultimately fostering a healthier and more balanced approach to parenting.

So let's give ourselves permission to let go of mom guilt and embrace the joy and fulfillment that comes from being both a dedicated professional and a loving mother. You've got this!

PS Sometimes not having good boundaries in our lives (with a particular person or situation) can make mom guilt even more likely and heavy for us. Setting a boundary can be confusing, and there are lots of ways that we try but aren’t successful to “set a boundary.” If you struggle with setting and holding boundaries that protect your peace, grab my FREE guide for help doing this!

https://sarahwittry.myflodesk.com/boundaries

Demystifying High-Functioning Anxiety: Roadmap to Inner Peace for High-Achieving Working Moms in Medicine

In the fast-paced world of medicine, where every second counts and lives hang in the balance, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of productivity and externally measured success.

As a high-achieving female physician who is also a mom, you're no stranger to the relentless pursuit of excellence in both your professional and personal lives. But what if I told you that beneath the surface of your outward success lies a silent struggle that threatens to unravel your sense of peace and balance?

High functioning anxiety—a term that may resonate with many of you—is a phenomenon where you experience symptoms of anxiety while still maintaining a high level of functioning in your daily life. Despite your remarkable achievements and unwavering dedication to your patients, families, and careers, you may find yourselves grappling with persistent worry, perfectionism, and self-doubt behind closed doors, or this just being your default internal landscape.

So, let's unpack the layers of high functioning anxiety and shed light on this often overlooked aspect of high-achieving professionals in the medical field.

Understanding High Functioning Anxiety:

High functioning anxiety is not just about feeling nervous or stressed occasionally—it's a constant companion, whispering doubts and insecurities into your ear even as you tackle your to-do list with precision and efficiency. It's the persistent worry that gnaws at your thoughts, the unrelenting drive for perfection that fuels your ambition, and the fear of failure that lurks in the shadows of your success.

The Root Causes:

What fuels high functioning anxiety in the minds of high-achieving working moms in medicine? Genetics and biology play a role, as do environmental factors such as the high-stress nature of medical careers. Childhood experiences, including trauma or parental expectations, can also contribute to the development of anxiety disorders later in life. As women physicians juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, the pressure to excel in every aspect of your life can further exacerbate these underlying anxieties.

Recognizing the Signs:

How do you know if you're experiencing high functioning anxiety? It manifests in various ways, from persistent worry and overthinking to imposter syndrome and difficulty in asserting boundaries. You may find yourselves constantly striving for perfection, yet feeling like you're never quite good enough. Physical symptoms like tension headaches, muscle tension, and difficulty sleeping may also signal the presence of underlying anxiety.

Breaking Free:

But there is hope to rewrite this narrative. Recognizing and acknowledging the presence of high functioning anxiety is the first step towards reclaiming your peace of mind. Here are some actionable steps you can take to start mitigating anxiety and prioritizing your well-being:

1. Practice mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine to cultivate a sense of calm and self-awareness.

2. Set boundaries: Learn to assert boundaries in both your personal and professional life to protect your time and energy.

3. Challenge perfectionism: Embrace imperfection and celebrate your successes, no matter how small.

4. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals for guidance and support.

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same level of care you offer others.

6. Engage in self-care: Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, and make time for relaxation and rejuvenation.

Reflection and Action:

Take a moment to reflect on your own experiences with high functioning anxiety. Are you unknowingly caught in its grip? If so, know that you're not alone, and support is available. By taking proactive steps to manage anxiety and prioritize self-care, you can unlock a life of balance, fulfillment, and inner peace.

In conclusion, high functioning anxiety is a reality for many high-achieving working moms in medicine, but it doesn't have to define your story. By shining a light on this often misunderstood phenomenon and equipping ourselves with the tools to address it, we can break free from the shackles of anxiety and embrace a life of authenticity and well-being.

I’m on this journey with you, and I’d absolutely love to support you on your journey as well.

With warmth and solidarity,

Sarah

Taking Radical Responsibility for Your Life

Today, we're diving into the concept of embracing complete ownership of your life. It's a topic that's been central to my parenting philosophy and a practice I've woven into the fabric of my own journey. I share this with you, especially as physician moms, because of the transformative power it holds.

Taking responsibility is about more than just shouldering the blame. It's a pathway to empowerment. Life isn't something that merely happens to you; it's a collaborative dance between you and the experiences you encounter.

When you fully embrace and own your opportunities, choices, and life experiences, you step into a realm of heightened personal power. It's not about being a victim or assigning blame, but about acknowledging your role in co-creating your reality.

Approach each situation as if it's yours to navigate, whether it's a medical diagnosis, a career opportunity, or a personal interaction. The key is not to fall into self-blame, but to understand that your reactions and responses truly do shape your experience.

I often reflect on situations in my life, recognizing that my thoughts significantly influence the outcome. Taking ownership of my choices and actions, both leading up to an event and following it, has been a game-changer.

Life is a blend of chaos and beauty, a 50:50 mix. Often when something is uncomfortable or something happens we wouldn’t choose, we work so hard to resist it because we don’t want to experience it. This can add struggle to the already challenging situation (essentially we are trying to argue with reality which of course is impossible…but we still try!:)

Embrace challenges as a curriculum for self-discovery. Even in seemingly negative circumstances, view them as opportunities to understand yourself better. What if the essence of life lies in experiencing ourselves in this 50:50 balance and becoming more accepting of this over time?

Consider a scenario where you're responsible for organizing an event, like a party gone awry. Instead of distancing yourself from the chaos, take responsibility for the choices that led to the situation. It's not about self-blame, but a genuine understanding of your influence.

This principle holds true in challenging situations, such as navigating a medical diagnosis. Instead of dwelling on what you can't control, focus on what you can, shaping the experience according to your terms.

Failure isn't a dead end; it's a stepping stone. I've always believed that you're either winning or learning. By taking responsibility for my failures, I avoid the pitfalls of blame and gain invaluable insights.

When someone attempts to blame you for their shortcomings, resist the urge to retaliate. Rather, continue to take responsibility for your own actions. It's not about diminishing yourself; it's about maintaining your own sense of responsibility and power.

I've encountered situations where individuals sought to blame me for their failures. While it's tempting to retaliate, I've found strength in acknowledging any valid points within their accusations. It's not about diminishing yourself; it's about holding onto your power.

In the face of blame, remember Byron Katie's wisdom: find the one percent that is true. Acknowledge it, learn from it, without losing sight of your responsibility. This isn't about becoming a doormat; it's about navigating these dynamics with strength and compassion.

I recently navigated situations where blame was directed at me. Initially, I wanted to counter-blame or criticize myself. But after introspection, I found areas where I indeed had influence. Shifting from a victim mentality to one of responsibility has been transformative for me.

Consider conducting an inventory of your life, recognizing your influence in both positive and negative outcomes. This exercise highlights the equal power within you to create both. It's about understanding that your agency shapes your reality, whether positive or negative.

As you reflect on past conflicts that no longer trigger you, notice how accepting responsibility played a role. Carry this awareness forward. When faced with blame or failure, observe your resistance and defensiveness. Instead of shying away, embrace it. Say yes to it. Taking responsibility, without blame, is a powerful affirmation.

Accept that accidents, failures, and messes are part of your responsibility. It's not about self-flagellation but recognizing your capacity to create and recreate. You are a potent force; use this knowledge to connect with yourself, others, and the world.

In your journey of self-responsibility, don't weaponize it against yourself. See it as a tool for personal growth and connection. By embracing responsibility for every aspect of your life, you'll move forward with resilience, decision-making prowess, and an unwavering commitment to your own empowerment. Take responsibility for all of it, and observe the transformative shift that unfolds.

Xo, Sarah

Unraveling the Roots of Procrastination: A Practical Guide for Physician Moms

Today, let's delve into a shared challenge that resonates across many high-achieving women – the intricate often frustrating dance with procrastination.

Today's focus is on understanding procrastination, unraveling its roots, and equipping you with actionable steps to overcome it.

Embracing Your Journey:

Before we explore the depths of procrastination, let me remind you – you are not broken. No matter what habits you grapple with, irrespective of past attempts at change, you are not a problem to be fixed. My mission is not just to highlight this truth but to empower you to recognize the agency you possess in creating your own experience.

Seeds of Transformation:

The thoughts shared here are like seeds – tiny, yet powerful. They have the potential to take root and grow into profound beliefs that shape your habits. Today, let's plant a seed that delves into the realm of procrastination.

Understanding Procrastination:

Procrastination, as defined by the Oxford Dictionary, is the act of delaying something, often due to a reluctance to initiate the task. We all have our procrastination stories. For me, it started early in school and persists even in my professional life, particularly when facing certain certifications.

Why do we procrastinate? At a high level, it's often a battle between what we desire in the long term versus the allure of immediate gratification. Evolutionarily, our inclination towards pleasure over drudgery contributes to this tendency. It's vital to recognize that procrastination, in itself, is neutral until we attach a thought to it.

Identifying Procrastination Influencers:

Understanding why we procrastinate is crucial. Factors such as instant gratification, perfectionism, and all-or-none thinking contribute to this behavior. An amusing term “procrasti-vity” has been coined as the behavior of engaging in productive tasks to delay less enjoyable ones. I am all too familiar with this. If I have a project I need to work on that is challenging, I will find many reasons why I need to suddenly clean out my email inbox or label my pantry. Ha!

Actionable Steps for Change:

Now, let's dive into three actionable steps to implement this learning into your real life:

1. Pause and Identify Emotions: When you catch yourself procrastinating or about to procrastinate, pause for 30-60 seconds. Identify the emotion you are feeling. Is it overwhelm, anxiety, permissiveness, ambivalence, or dread? Being specific in naming what you are thinking and feeling is a key step in increasing your awareness of what’s really going on under the surface.

2. Work Backwards: Once you've identified the emotion, work backward to uncover the thoughts triggering that emotion. What are you thinking that leads to the procrastination? Is it the belief that there's not enough time, a fear of not being great at the task, or an all-or-none mindset?

3. Pattern Interrupt and Pivot: With awareness, you open the door to interrupting the pattern. Pivot from the trajectory you would be on if unaware. This might involve making observational statements to yourself, reminding yourself of your compelling "why," or using techniques like temptation bundling.

Conclusion:

Procrastination is a complex interplay of thoughts and emotions. By unraveling these threads, you gain the power to intervene and forge a new path. Remember, this is not a one-and-done process – repetition and self-awareness are your allies.

As physician moms, you navigate the contrasts of life with grace. Embrace this journey of understanding and transforming procrastination into a tool for growth.

Wishing you clarity, resilience, and moments of profound self-discovery.

Listen to my recent 15 minute podcast episode on procrastination here for a little deeper dive.

Finally an Attending, But Still Unhappy?!

This is a common belief for medical students, residents, and fellows. This often gets them through the grueling hustle of years of inadequate sleep, ridiculously long hours, never-ending tests….the belief that someday, in the dreamland that is attending-hood, they will have finally MADE IT. Sure they will still have the cognitively demanding career of being a physician, but they will finally be able to sleep and have a life and enjoy the life of being a doctor who actually makes a decent living. All the things we want to finally be able to do (be a real doctor without supervision, start a family, buy a house, travel, etc) are unfortunately dampened by the harsh reality and realization that becoming an attending isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Several factors contribute to the persistence of patterns, poor coping mechanisms, chronic overworking, and high standards even as individuals transition to attending physicians.

1. Institutional Culture: The culture within healthcare institutions, often shaped during training, can perpetuate high expectations, long working hours, and a focus on individual achievement. These norms may persist into attending roles.

2. Professional Identity: Physicians may internalize the identity cultivated during training, where overworking and high standards are perceived as essential for success. Shifting this identity can be challenging.

3. Workload and Responsibility: As attending physicians, while gaining more autonomy, the workload and responsibility remain significant. The demands of patient care, administrative tasks, and ongoing professional development contribute to sustained stress.

4. Financial Pressures: The burden of student loans and the need to maintain a certain standard of living may drive attending physicians to overwork. Financial pressures can exacerbate stress and contribute to a persistent activated state.

5. Cultural Expectations: Societal expectations around the medical profession, including a culture of sacrifice and dedication, can reinforce the tendency to overwork. The perceived need to meet societal expectations can maintain these patterns.

Short-Term Impacts:

• Physical Health: Increased risk of burnout, fatigue, and sleep disturbances.

• Mental Health: Higher rates of anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion.

• Work Performance: Decreased job satisfaction, impaired cognitive function, and potential errors in patient care.

Long-Term Impacts:

• Chronic Health Conditions: Prolonged stress may contribute to long-term health issues such as cardiovascular diseases, autoimmune disorders, and gastrointestinal problems.

• Burnout and Career Dissatisfaction: A persistent activated state can lead to burnout, reduced job satisfaction, and a decline in the overall quality of life.

• Interpersonal Relationships: Strain on personal relationships due to time constraints and emotional exhaustion.

Gender Differences:

• Work-Life Balance: Women in medicine may face additional challenges in achieving work-life balance, balancing caregiving responsibilities at home with demanding professional roles.

• Mental Health: Studies suggest that women in medicine may experience higher rates of anxiety and depression compared to their male counterparts.

• Professional Advancement: Gender disparities in opportunities for professional advancement and leadership roles may contribute to additional stressors for women physicians.

Addressing these challenges requires systemic changes in medical culture, prioritizing work-life balance, and fostering environments that support physicians' well-being. Advocacy for policy changes, mentorship programs, and initiatives promoting diversity and inclusion can contribute to a healthier and more sustainable medical profession for both men and women.

We can continue to use our voices and experiences to create change. I would argue that the stakes are far too high not to do so. What are your thoughts about this topic?

Setting boundaries is an integral skill we can learn and improve — but can be overwhelming not knowing where to start with boundaries. How to really know what it looks like to set one, what type of boundary to set to make an actual impact, and how to communicate it to someone. Grab my free guide here to learn how to set ONE high impact boundary — and watch the benefits it has on your personal and professional well-being: https://sarahwittry.myflodesk.com/boundaries

You don’t have to wait to feel better

As physician moms, balancing the demands of our profession with family life is a formidable challenge. Amidst our busy schedules, the pursuit of happiness often takes a backseat, overshadowed by the daily grind. Yet, what if I told you that the key to creating a sustainable sense of ease and happiness actually lies within your own thoughts?

The quest for happiness is universal but often misunderstood. Society bombards us with messages equating happiness to external achievements or possessions. However, through my own life experience and coach training, I've come to understand and appreciate that true happiness stems from mastering our internal world. And this is a very good thing. This means we don’t have to have things be a certain way, or have people around us behaving a certain way or saying the things we want them to say in order to feel good or happy or content.

One powerful exercise I love to use with my coaching clients involves envisioning themselves and their lives after achieving their specific goals. What do they imagine will truly change, and what will remain the same? This exercise serves as a reality check, helping us discern whether our expectations are grounded in reality or mere illusions. A common example that most physicians can relate to is “I’ll be happier when…..” What do you fill in here? When you finish training and become an attending? When you find a near-perfect job? When you get to buy the house you’ve always wanted? When you have completed your family? When your kids are a certain age? When you can cut back on your FTE? When you retire?!

The fundamental insight here is that our emotions are not dictated by external circumstances but by the thoughts we entertain and pay most attention to repeatedly. This realization empowers us to consciously choose thoughts that evoke emotions we want to experience more of, gradually rewiring our brains for greater happiness.

But emotional mastery goes way beyond positive thinking. It's about embracing the full spectrum of emotions and learning to navigate them with resilience. This means acknowledging, allowing and learning how to process more “negative” uncomfortable emotions that arise, without judgment, and recognize their role in our growth.

As physicians, we understand the importance of discipline and determination in achieving our goals.

By applying these same principles to our emotional well-being, we can unlock a newfound sense of fulfillment and joy in our lives.

The path to lasting happiness lies in mastering our internal world. By practicing our ability to consciously choose which thoughts we pay attention to (which create our emotions), we can create a life filled with purpose and passion.

I invite you to dig into the power of emotional mastery as a key to unlocking our full potential as physician moms.

Embracing the Emotional Journey: A Guide for Working Moms

In our fast-paced world, where responsibilities often pile up like a never-ending to-do list, it's easy for us working moms to feel completely overwhelmed by the demands of balancing career and family life. Yet, amidst the chaos, lies an invaluable tool for navigating life's complexities: emotional awareness. In this blog post, I dive into the transformative power of emotional intelligence for working moms, particularly my fellow physician moms, exploring how cultivating emotional awareness can lead to better decision-making, improved stress management, and overall well-being.

**The Power of Emotional Awareness**

The lens through which we perceive the world can often feel rigid, even when it causes us pain. Marcel Proust once said, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." It suggests that our mindset and awareness play pivotal roles in shifting entrenched beliefs into more productive and fulfilling perspectives. But how do we navigate this emotional journey, especially when emotions seem daunting?

**Understanding Emotions as Energy in Motion**

Emotions, often perceived as elusive states of mind, are, in fact, tangible experiences manifested through physical vibrations or energy in our bodies. In essence, every emotion is energy in action. While our feelings originate from our minds, they are felt and experienced within our bodies. It's worth noting that sometimes, emotions arise so swiftly that we struggle to pinpoint the triggering thought. In such cases, our subsequent thoughts interpret our physical sensations, shaping our emotional experiences.

**Navigating the Complex Emotional Landscape**

While all mammals share basic emotions like fear and anger, humans have evolved complex social emotions such as shame, guilt, and pride, influenced by our awareness of others' thoughts and feelings about us. Our emotions, produced by chemicals in the brain, are not governed by a single "love" or "hate" chemical. Instead, numerous neurotransmitters interact, often resulting in a blend of emotions at any given moment. Understanding that emotions are natural chemical reactions underscores their normalcy in our physiology.

**Empowering Through Emotional Intelligence (EQ)**

The interesting twist is that certain emotions, like excitement and fear, trigger similar physiological responses. The distinction lies in our interpretation within a specific context. Realizing that emotions are not to be feared liberates us to allow them to flow freely, enhancing our emotional intelligence and resilience. By holding space for our emotions without judgment, we empower ourselves to acknowledge their validity.

**Why Emotional Awareness Matters for Working Moms**

Increasing emotional capacity and awareness is crucial for working moms, including physician moms, for several reasons:

1. **Managing Stress**: Working moms, especially those in demanding professions like medicine, often face high levels of stress. Developing emotional capacity and awareness enables them to better cope with stressors, preventing burnout and promoting overall well-being.

2. **Balancing Responsibilities**: Juggling professional responsibilities with family commitments requires emotional resilience. By understanding their emotions and responses, working moms can navigate challenges more effectively, making it easier to balance work and home life.

3. **Enhancing Communication**: Effective communication is essential in both the workplace and at home. Emotional awareness allows working moms to express their thoughts and feelings more clearly, fostering better relationships with colleagues, patients, and family members.

4. **Supporting Mental Health**: Working moms may experience feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or overwhelm due to competing demands. Developing emotional capacity helps them recognize and address these emotions, reducing the risk of mental health issues such as anxiety or depression.

5. **Improving Decision-Making**: Emotions play a significant role in decision-making. By increasing emotional awareness, working moms can make more informed and rational decisions, both professionally and personally, leading to better outcomes.

**Embrace the Full Spectrum**

In essence, increasing emotional capacity and awareness empowers working moms, including physician moms, to thrive in both their professional and personal lives, fostering well-being, resilience, and success. So, how wide are you willing to make your emotional spectrum? Embrace the full spectrum, and let your emotions guide you on the colorful journey of life.

Embracing Empowerment: From the Drama Triangle to the Empowerment Triangle

Ever felt stuck in a cycle of frustration or stagnation, unsure of how to navigate relationships or situations? Enter the Drama Triangle – a framework that sheds light on common roles we unconsciously play in interpersonal dynamics. But…thankfully, there's a transformative shift waiting to be discovered: the Empowerment Triangle. Let's dive into these roles and discover the path to empowerment.

The Drama Triangle:

1. Victim: Feeling powerless and blaming external circumstances.

2. Persecutor: Exerting control through criticism and blame.

3. Rescuer: Enabling dependency by constantly intervening to "save" others.

The Empowerment Triangle:

1. Creator: Proactively owning circumstances and seeking solutions.

2. Challenger: Providing constructive feedback and encouraging growth.

3. Coach: Facilitating self-discovery and empowering others to find solutions.

Why it Matters: Understanding these roles offers greater self-awareness, allowing us to shift from drama to empowerment. By recognizing our default roles and embracing empowerment, we gain emotional wisdom and transform negative patterns into positive self-regard.

Action Steps:

1. Self-Reflection: Identify which role resonates with you in different situations.

2. Communication Shift: Reframe reactions to focus on solutions and growth.

3. Small Steps: Take proactive actions aligned with empowerment in daily interactions.

Conclusion: Are you ready to break free from the drama and step into empowerment? Join me on this journey of self-discovery and growth as we embrace the Empowerment Triangle. Share your experiences and insights in the comments below – together, let's empower ourselves and others to create positive change. #Empowerment #Leadership #GrowthMindset

Unlocking the Power of Thoughts and Emotions

Unlocking the Power of Thoughts and Emotions

In the vast landscape of our minds, an intricate dance unfolds – the interplay between thoughts and emotions.

It's a powerful connection that shapes our experiences and colors the canvas of our daily lives.

Understanding this link is transformative in how we see and approach and experience everyday events and circumstances.

How Thoughts Shape Emotions: Our thoughts act as architects, constructing the framework of our emotional landscapes. Consider this: when faced with a challenging situation, the story we tell ourselves becomes the lens through which we perceive it. For instance, if caught in traffic, thoughts like "I'm going to be late, everything is ruined" can summon feelings of frustration and stress. Conversely, shifting the narrative to "I have extra time to listen to my favorite podcast" can foster patience and even joy.

Examples from My Journey: Reflecting on my own experiences has been enlightening. In moments of self-doubt about my capabilities at work, the story I told myself influenced my emotions. By reframing my thoughts to focus on past achievements and learning opportunities, I cultivated confidence and a positive outlook.

Common Situations, Diverse Responses: Consider a canceled plan – the emotional outcome hinges on the narrative. "I'm always left out" breeds loneliness, while "Maybe there's a reason for this change, and I can use the time for self-care" brings resilience. The same situation, different thoughts, varied emotions.

Shifting Perspectives in Real Time: Embracing alternative viewpoints is a superpower. When met with criticism, instead of feeling attacked, envision it as an opportunity for growth. Recognizing that the stories we tell ourselves are malleable opens the door to change. Experiment with altering the narrative in real time, witnessing the immediate shift in emotions.

🌐 Join the Conversation: What stories do you tell yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and let's explore the transformative power of rewriting our narratives together! 💬🌟 #MindShift #ThoughtEmotionConnection #PerspectiveMatters ✨

Chronic High-Functioning Anxiety

Living with chronic anxiety can be draining. Ask me how I know (ha!)

In medical school, when I was constantly studying and taking high pressure tests for months on end, I experienced a few full blown panic attacks with trouble catching my breath, racing heart, tunnel vision, lightheadedness.

So many times over the years, I have shared my anxious, spiraling thoughts with my spouse. I’m a verbal processor, and even though I would feel a little better after sharing, I would still feel tightness & tension in my neck and shoulders, and a persistent pit in my stomach as I went about my day.

That persistent, low level anxiety that was just always there. And because it was deeply uncomfortable to just sit with, I tried to just do the next thing, move ahead, and keep myself busy, so I could avoid having to actually feel the anxiety. I hoped it would go away on its own. And it did subside at times, but it always came back, like an annoying string that keeps unraveling in your sock or a tag in your shirt that keeps itching you.

Understanding anxiety on a deeper level involves recognizing that anxiety does not stem from your brain and your thoughts. It comes from your BODY.

And just like we are rarely aware of the majority of the tens of thousands of thoughts we have every day, we are usually even less aware of the signs our body tries to send us every day.

Most of us are incredibly disconnected from our bodies and all the sensations and messages they try to communicate to us.

In my most challenging times, I did not have or even know I needed the tools to reassure my body that it was safe. All of our emotions have sources, including anxiety. Even if those sources are buried deep within us, and we barely know they are there at all.

Once I understood that anxiety was more of a body-based than a mind-based issue, I started to shift my perspectives about it and how to “treat” it.

And I have learned so much in my journey — the cognitive learning comes much more easily to me. The embodied knowledge (practicing and knowing what my body is saying) is significantly more challenging to me. But as much as we try to separate the mind and the body in modern day Western medicine, they are inextricably linked. And so, I continue to take small steps, consistently and oh so imperfectly, to implement what I know in my mind into my body. To help myself feel into the safety, security, abundance, and connection with myself and others that I am longing for. And to know when I’ve drifted away into fear/scarcity or disconnection and to gently find my way back to my center, my wholeness, my safety.

If you struggle with chronic anxiety, stress, or overwhelm, and are a woman raising kids and working in the medical profession, I would love to help you navigate into the often terrifying world of understanding your emotions, increasing your self-awareness, self-trust and learning powerful tools to increase your real-time awareness of the state of your body & mind, so you can consciously choose what your next right thing is. This skill set applies to literally every bucket of your life (relationships/parenting/marriage/co-workers/patients/finances) —

So…. if you’re ready to dig in and do this inner work with me, and want to experience the profound transformations that are possible in your life, here’s what to do:

• Send me a message at sarahannewittry@gmail.com.

• Check out my podcast “Vibrant Humans” on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

• Join my private FB community Vibrant Humans or Linked In private group “The Medical Moms Collective”

• Get on my email list to receive updates, empowering tidbits and tools.

Understanding and Normalizing Emotions for a Fulfilling Life

In the realm of emotional well-being, understanding and normalizing our emotions is a crucial step toward a fulfilling and resilient life.

As a thoughts & feelings life coach, my primary objectives are to guide clients through recognizing the biological roots of emotions, embracing them without fear, and ultimately opening the doorway to a more balanced and purposeful existence.

Default Way of Dealing with Emotions

Often, we default to various ways of dealing with our emotions, sometimes resisting certain feelings altogether. The key is to ask ourselves, "Are there any emotions I am resistant towards feeling?" This reflection opens the path to being more present with our emotions.

Biology of Emotion: Demystifying the Process

To start the conversation, it's essential to understand the biology of emotion. Emotions originate in our brain through neurochemical signaling, resulting in sensations felt in our bodies. I encourage clients to delve into the details of this process, acknowledging that their brain is merely functioning as designed.

Emotional Intelligence: Elevating EQ

Emotional intelligence, akin to IQ, is a skill that can be developed. I guide clients to read and explore this concept, emphasizing the possibility of becoming more aware, in tune, and open to a wide range of emotions. Understanding emotional intelligence is the key to navigating the complex landscape of feelings.

"Go to Emotions" Exploration

During sessions, we engage in a fun and insightful discussion about "go-to emotions." Clients identify the feelings they enjoy and those they avoid. This exploration involves understanding why certain emotions are preferred, shedding light on patterns and thought processes that influence their emotional landscape.

Takeaways for Personal Growth

1. Question Your Resistance: Regularly question any resistance towards specific emotions. This opens the door to a more present and accepting relationship with your feelings.

2. Explore the Biology: Invest time in understanding the biology of emotion. Recognize that your brain is naturally functioning, generating feelings based on thoughts and triggering chemical reactions.

3. Embrace Emotional Intelligence: Read about emotional intelligence and its potential for elevation. Recognize that, like IQ, your emotional intelligence can be nurtured and expanded.

4. Fun Exploration: Engage in a delightful exploration of your "go-to emotions." Identify patterns and inquire into why certain feelings are favored or avoided.

5. Fill Out "Go to Emotions" Page: Take the opportunity to fill out the "go-to emotions" page during sessions. This hands-on exercise provides valuable insights into your emotional landscape.

Remember, the journey to emotional well-being is unique for everyone, and understanding the intricate dance of emotions is a powerful step toward a more fulfilling life. Embrace the process and embrace yourself throughout. Give yourself kindness.

Xoxo, Sarah

Navigating Wellness via Emotional Awareness and Well-Being

In the intricate tapestry of motherhood and the medical field, one thing remains constant—our emotional well-being is the key to a life filled with fulfillment and resilience.

Today, I want to delve into the importance of embracing the entire spectrum of emotions, normalizing our experiences, and empowering ourselves to navigate challenges with resilience.

As a coach specializing in supporting working moms in the medical field, my unwavering commitment is to guide you on a transformative journey toward enhanced emotional intelligence and overall well-being.

1. Normalizing Emotions: Strength in Vulnerability

🌈 Emotions are not a sign of weakness but a testament to our strength. Let's normalize the range of emotions we experience—whether it's the joy of success, the frustration of challenges, or the beauty in moments of quiet reflection.

2. Understanding the Spectrum: Painting Your Emotional Canvas

🎨 Each emotion contributes to the rich tapestry of our lives. Understanding the full spectrum allows us to navigate the intricacies of motherhood and a medical career with a depth of insight that fosters resilience.

3. Embracing Resilience: Bouncing Back with Grace

💪 Resilience is not the absence of challenges but the ability to bounce back from them. Together, let's explore tools and strategies that empower you to face the demands of your profession and the joys of motherhood with grace and strength.

4. Your Transformative Journey: Elevating Emotional Intelligence

🚀 Embark on a journey toward heightened emotional intelligence. Discover actionable insights and practices designed to weave emotional well-being into the fabric of your daily life, fostering a sense of balance and fulfillment.

5. Coaching for Empowerment: Your Personalized Guide

👩‍👧‍👦 As your dedicated coach, my role is to empower you. From personalized guidance to thought-provoking exercises, together we'll navigate the unique challenges and triumphs that come with being a working mom in the medical field.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Developing greater resilience, self-compassion, and a commitment to your emotional well-being is best done in community for support.

Here's to embracing the journey (there’s no “end point” which is actually good news!), and finding strength in every step!

Xoxo, Sarah

What’s at stake when physician moms don’t prioritize themselves and their own well-being??

Physician moms should prioritize and invest in their well-being for several compelling reasons. First and foremost, maintaining good mental and physical health is absolutely crucial for delivering optimal patient care. This is what our healthcare system, hospital systems and administrations tend to prioritize and understandably so. None of us want to have doctors who are burned out, disillusioned and miserable taking care of us when we are at our most vulnerable.

A physician's ability to provide quality medical attention is directly linked to their own well-being. Additionally, investing in self-care helps prevent burnout, a pervasive issue among healthcare professionals, ensuring sustained passion and commitment to their profession.

If women physicians neglect to prioritize their own well-being and core values, several significant risks and consequences may emerge:

1. Burnout: Ignoring well-being can lead to burnout, characterized by emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a reduced sense of personal accomplishment. Burnout can detrimentally impact both professional and personal aspects of a physician's life.

2. Decreased Quality of Patient Care: Fatigue and emotional exhaustion resulting from neglecting well-being can compromise a physician's ability to provide high-quality patient care. This may lead to errors, reduced empathy, and diminished patient satisfaction.

3. Strained Interpersonal Relationships: Neglecting personal well-being can strain relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. The emotional toll of work-related stress may spill over into personal interactions, impacting the physician's support system.

4. Reduced Job Satisfaction: A lack of alignment with core values and neglect of well-being can contribute to reduced job satisfaction. This dissatisfaction may affect a physician's overall engagement, motivation, and longevity in their career.

5. Negative Mental Health Impact: Chronic stress and neglect of well-being can contribute to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. These conditions not only affect the physician's personal life but can also hinder their professional performance.

6. Decreased Resilience: Prioritizing well-being is crucial for building resilience in the face of challenges. Without this resilience, physicians may struggle to cope with the inevitable stressors in their profession, leading to a negative impact on their overall career trajectory.

7. Attrition from the Profession: The cumulative effects of burnout, dissatisfaction, and strained relationships may contribute to women physicians leaving the profession prematurely. This attrition can result in a loss of valuable talent and diversity in the healthcare field.

8. Impact on Future Generations: Women physicians serve as role models for aspiring medical professionals. If they neglect their well-being and values, it may perpetuate a culture that emphasizes sacrifice over self-care, influencing the well-being choices of future generations.

9. Professional Identity Crisis: Neglecting core values can lead to a misalignment between personal beliefs and the demands of the medical profession. This misalignment may trigger a professional identity crisis, impacting the physician's sense of purpose and fulfillment.

10. Limitation of Leadership Potential: Women physicians who do not prioritize their well-being may find it challenging to reach their full leadership potential. Sustained success in leadership roles often requires a foundation of personal well-being and adherence to core values.

In essence, neglecting well-being and core values not only jeopardizes the individual physician's health and happiness but also has far-reaching consequences that extend to patient care, professional relationships, and the overall vitality of the healthcare system.

Prioritizing well-being is not just a personal choice; it is a commitment to sustaining a healthy, resilient, and impactful medical community.

I’ll be discussing some of the biggest barriers to women physicians being able to carve out this time and space for themselves in my next blog!